Love that’s too painful is not love(6)

The most destructive lies aren’t the ones told to us — they’re the ones we tell ourselves. Those lies we repeat quietly to convince ourselves that this relationship we cherish so much is as valuable to them as it is to us. Those lies we whisper to our tired brain to convince ourselves that the red flags aren’t there and that our mind is playing tricks on us yet again. But deep down we know. We know we can’t blame our overthinking on this one. We know the red flags are real, but we lie to ourselves to protect our tender heart from reality, the reality that they love us, but not in that way.

We convince ourselves that if they’ve become distant it’s simply because they’re busy. We look for explanations to explain why they don’t have time to talk on the phone anymore, why they always seem to forget to text back, and why they don’t have time to see us. They just have a lot going on, and they express their love differently than we do. We repeat these excuses over and over again until we forget what the actual truth is: they don’t love us like we love them.

The truth is, if someone wants to be in your life, they will be. They will be, whether their day was hectic or not. They will be, no matter who texts whom first. They’ll be here when life is beautiful and you laugh together until your guts hurt, but they’ll also be here when life is difficult. They’ll be here on those lonely nights when you can’t fall asleep, and those mornings when you can’t get up because your heart weighs too much. They will be there when it’s easy and when it’s not.

If someone wants to be in your life, you’ll never have to doubt it. You’ll just know. There won’t be any mixed signals. There won’t be tears about things between you being so much better yesterday than they are today. There won’t be confusion, and you won’t have to wonder how your relationship can be a fairytale one day and a drama the next.

Let today be the day you stop lying to yourself. Let it be the day you move on, the day you forgive yourself for loving them too deeply, and for investing time and pieces of your heart in someone who wasn’t ready for your love. Let today change you. You’ve got this.